Duck image via discovery.com

Which is cuter? The duck or the bunny rabbit?

rabbit image via scientopia.org

How I Met Your Mother did an episode where their little clique got into one of their biggest fights—over which is cuter, a duck or rabbit. At the time it seemed to me that the humorous thing was that a bunny is obviously much cuter than a duck. Like the joke was how absurd it was to find, not one, but half a sit-com’s worth of people who thought some kind of water fowl could be even remotely cuter than the baby-talk-induding, flopping mess of fur that is a rabbit. How I Met Your Mother portrayed a world gone mad. My sweetie, who is naturally well-suited to my tastes, tended to agree. But somehow this came up in conversation with a friend, whom responded on the duck’s behalf. I was told there was something attractive about the shape of the bill, as if such a thing could compete with a warm, heaping pile of fur. I was reminded that ducks are furry when they’re babies.

baby ducks? Or Mcnuggets? via cuteoverload.com

Which, OK, that’s cute. What alien substance their beak is made of I am frightened to speculate, and equally disconcerting is my ignorance of whether or not it’s capable of doing something awful to my fingers. But I agree; that’s a pile of cute baby. Or at least, it’s cute for a baby whose eyes look as haggard as a 47-year old divorcée before his morning Scotch and cigarette.

Iif fur is an asset, than surely rabbits win simply for sheer years of furriness. Ducks have a fleeting, furry phase;  whereas rabbits are blessed with a lifetime of soft-fuzziness. Win.

But if one must compare baby animals, rabbits are no shirkers in that department either. Here’s your standard baby rabbit fare: Christ ate a kitten! That is not a beanie baby, that adorable thing is alive! (image via http://cute-n-tiny.com)

My beau and I sought further data to confirm our thesis, i.e., we taunted our friend’s duck preference to many, many people. We were shocked to find how many friends (people we’ve known for years!) exhibited this perverse duck-orientation.  I began to suspect these duck-loving “friends”  were charlatans. They were toying with me, taking the duck’s side just to be contrary. They couldn’t possibly, truly prefer a duck to a rabbit! (image via http://i.telegraph.co.uk)

It’s not that I don’t like ducks. I feed them in the park. I’ve even had them as friends a few times. OK, acquaintances. I see that they have a distinguished charm, a charm that puts them in no way in the same cuteness-ballpark as a bunny rabbit. So now I’ve brought the question to you, the Internet, in the hopes that the world at large is not as crazy as the duck-loving world I inhabit. I hope you make the right choice.

Watch the “Rabbit or Duck” episode of How I Met Your Mother

And speaking of duck orientation, I have to leave you with this duck-loving Garnfunkel and Oates song. Because if there is any opportunity to play “Sex With Ducks,” I’m going to grab it.